Dear Jane...

This entry is quite different from previous posts. I'm setting out on a very important writing project and wish to use this post as a forum. I would appreciate your insight and answers to the thoughts and questions posed. Email me if you prefer not to comment here.

Every day life evolves. We face new challenges, find new strength in ourselves and learn something new. As women we face issues in our daily lives that men, bless their eager-to-understand souls, do not and can not understand.

What issues did you face today that set you apart from our male counterparts? What was your reaction to the situation?

The existence of the glass ceiling tells us that we are still below male standards in the eyes of much of the world. Who is responsible for creating this invisible yet seemingly unbreakable barrier? Isn't it true that we often hold ourselves to the standards of men? Must we reinvent ourselves as women so that we are more like men in order to shatter these standards? Or can we do it by reinventing ourselves to be stronger women?

As I look to the women in my life and those passing by, I find that every one of them, myself included, is searching for something whether it be within themselves or in the world. Events throughout the ages have given us the tools to find what we are looking for in life. The suffrage movement gave us a voice, the feminist movement gave the world ears, yet many women today are soft spoken and I'm not entirely sure the world is still listening. It is within us to shatter the glass ceiling, but not as men would, but as women.

We cannot be afraid to define ourselves by our own individual standards, say enough is enough when the days are too long, or take a risk on ourselves.

Why you shouldn't run with scissors...

Three months have gone by since I wrote of successful failures. I have not made any progress in that time and have found that I really miss my steady stream of work. I have made one progressive decision. In a few weeks I will begin a flexible schedule at work that will allow me to take every other Tuesday off to focus on my writing. If I've learned anything from my classes at the Loft and my writing group, it is that all my efforts are in vain unless I handle my writing like a full-time job. I can't write full-time right now so I found a compromise in every other Tuesday.

I'm really looking forward to this new adventure. I will be spending my time researching, idea gathering, journaling, reading, studying and anything else I can do to improve my writing and come closer to achieving my goals.

I still want to finish Charlie's story, but will need to re-evaluate what direction she is going. Lately I have envisioned a new character, Jane. Her story is that of a young woman at a crossroads as so many women find themselves at different points in their lives. Jane's character could be described as a modern day Jane Austen (hence the name Jane). I like thinking what a woman so progressive as Jane Austen would be like today in a world where women are daily living the reality in which she longed to have; career, family and independence. I also consider the effects of the dreams our "Progressive Mothers" longed for but never fully saw them become reality. Did they ever think that having it all could have its consequences? The story will unfold through conversations between Jane and friends, family and strangers. She's seeking answers and it's difficult to know now whether or not she will find them.

The idea of Jane's story excites me and sets my pen to a new line. Here in lies the anxiety and trouble. Another story idea and another chance at falling on the proverbial sword or in my case the scissors in which I began running with several years ago when I started writing.

Thank you for continuing to check "By the Pen" even though I've been absent for so long. I truly appreciate the support and encouragement. Without it I may have already given up, which would be the only real failure.

Successful Failures

If success is really achieved through a series of failures then I'm on my way to succeeding as a writer. I received my first rejection letter today!?!?!?!?!?! I entered a short story in a contest for Highlights. I can't say I'm surprised I didn't win. In fact, I was somewhat excited when I saw the letter. I already knew I hadn't won because I saw the list of winners on their web page. So I knew opening the letter that it would be a "Dear Author..." letter. The letter is a reminder that I have made progress in the two years that I've been doing creative writing even though I haven't written as much as I would like to lately.

I have been thinking a lot about Charlie even if my pen has been away from the paper for a few weeks. I feel like I need to get a few more key elements figured out before I can put my fingers to the keyboard and start putting the ideas in my head into prose. This brings me to a question that I have and would really appreciate feedback.

What elements do you find important and enjoy in a good mystery?

Charlie's story is a Young Adult mystery with twists, turns, surpises, secrets, and suspicions. However, it's still missing some major development areas that I feel are necessary for all good mysteries but I can't quite wrap my head around it. I'm going to take some time to read some good mysteries and take notes on writing techniques, plot development, character development, point of view, etc. I hope this sheds some light on my minor writer's block. I'll also continue utilizing my storyboard.

I redeveloped my storyboard into a timeline which helped me see some areas that need work and areas that need scenes I've yet to imagine. This point in plot development has in the past caused me to quit and move onto the next project. I'm not prepared to put Charlie aside, but I definitely feel that there is slack in my writing and several holes in the plot. I'm really glad that I've been patient with Charlie and have avoided any premature writing because I would be working on something new if I had even put down the first page of her story.

If I can see a rejection letter as success, I'm hoping that I can find a way to use this slow writing time to my advantage. I'll keep writing and working with Charlie. What is there to lose? If I don't keep writing then I've failed before really trying and frankly I don't have a personality that can accept that reality.

Keep Writing!

Potholes

I apologize for not posting last week, but I was rather distracted. I had a story within me that I had to get out. Not Charlie's story, but a short story dedicated to my mother and sisters. It was a week and a half before Mother's Day and I found myself wandering the Hallmark store for the perfect words to tell the wonderful mothers in my life how much they mean to me. Then it hit me. No commercial words could express what I wanted to say. So I set out to write something especially for them.


I sat alone on one of the white picket benches that surround the cascading waterfall in the center of the IDS Center's Crystal Court. The bench I chose was close enough to the fountain that every once and awhile I felt the light spray of the water. The light was shining perfectly through the prism of glass that makes up the ceiling. Needless to say, it was the perfect spot for me to dig deep within my thoughts for the right words to begin the short story.


The story that poured from my pen was that of Eve and how she inherited the blessing of motherhood and passed it down to her daughters. I don't expect many to understand the story or appreciate it for its content, but I poured my heart into each word as I watched the water crash upon the concrete fountain.


Throughout the week I continued the story though the craft of water colors. I laid out paper and sat for hours doodling upon the pages. Many images were ruined or incoherent, but there were several that pleased me enough to be set along side the words of my story to make a small book. In the end, it was a work full of heart and said everything I wished to convey without actually saying the words.

Unfortunately, all my writing time was spent creating this gift. I didn't even look at Charlie's story once in the last 10 days. I know this is not going to be the only time my goals take a backseat to other events of life. The summer has not even begun and I feel as though every minute is planned. I'm sure this is a feeling that many are starting to experience. Life can finally be lived now that the overly long winter has ended and everyone is emerging from their homes. But what of the lives we lived before camping, Wednesday night leagues, barbecues, ball games, etc?

I love all the events that bring people together throughout the year and I adore my friends and family. However, how do I balance work, writing and a social life especially during the summer months?


Although I didn't get any work done on my novel, I do feel like I exercised my craft and challenged the right side of my brain by experimenting with other creative mediums. Now I just need to get focused again on Charlie and move forward.

This week I will get back on schedule. My main goal is to redesign my storyboard so that it looks like a timeline of events. I also would like to go for an artist date this week. I'm not sure what I will do or where I'll go, but I need to continue to seek out inspiration like that I got from the fountain at the IDS Center.

I hope that you are able to discover clever ways to manage your time and if you do, please share them with me. Keep writing!

Small Steps

It's the end of week one of my new, disciplined writing lifestyle and I must admit I had a bit of a pity party yesterday. I was feeling like I hadn't accomplished anything. Then I looked closer at my storyboard (pictured to the left). A week ago it was covered in pink post-its. I use pink where I have a question or am lacking some needed information. The questions posted on the board now are new. Even though I don't feel like I've moved forward with my project, my storyboard proves to me that I have propelled myself and Charlie further into the story.

I started my storyboard in the hopes that it would help me see the critical parts of my story. I've also used it to post visual aids like the pictures on the right side of the photo. First I divided the board into three categories: Main plot and two sub-plots. Each plot has a color of post-it assigned to it. That way I can keep track of ideas even when they cross into other areas of the story. This method of structuring helped at first. Now I'm starting to see that I'm getting more and more detailed within my post-its and having a hard time seeing the timeline of events.

I've decided to restructure the board. I want to design it like an intricate timeline so that I can follow Charlie across the board and see where she's going. I continue to have many ideas and need to use the board as a method of getting them out of my head without committing to the ideas. Being overly committed to an idea has also been part of my failures with my previous projects. I would get stuck on the thought of something specific happening a certain way. When that idea didn't fit with any other part of the story or it didn't flow forward I would just give up. The storyboard allows me to put ideas down and look at them all to see how they fit together.

This week part of my work will be dedicated to setting out a timeline of events on my storyboard. Although I'm technically starting over with the board I see it as a success. I've done all I can now with this layer of my story and am ready to move onto the next layer. (Layers being the development of the story through multiple steps).

In addition to my storyboard, I wrote out a detailed biography of characters and scenery. It's a flexible biography, but it was another method for me to get thoughts out of my head so I can allow myself to think of what is next.

I also did one of the exercises from The Writer's Toolbox by Jamie Cat Callan. It's literally a box full of objects used for writing exercises. I used the stir sticks, which proved to be a fun and a useful tool for me. There are three kinds of sticks and each one offers a step in writing a dynamic story. I used all three kinds for my exercise.

First step was the First Sentence stick which read "Charlotte ate green peppers all day long." There are many First Sentence sticks and this was the one I arbitrarily picked up. I wrote for 6 minutes about what might be happening. It's a strange sentence, but it's meant to get a story going with no telling where it might lead.

Second step, the Non-Sequitor that gets the story moving in a new direction. My stick said "He was skating on thin ice - that's all I can say." Putting this sentence with the first sentence seemed a smooth transition even though they don't appear to have any sort of connection.

The third step was the Last Straw stick that puts conflict and emotion into the story. I drew "The time he invited his mother to dinner." Again, it seems that they could never go together, but the entire exercise helps distract the left, analytical, side of the brain so that the right, creative, side of the brain can do its magic.

I don't want to bore you with the story that the exercise helped me write, but I can say that the scene I created might land a spot in my story.

My goals for this week are:
1. Continue writing at least 6 days for a 1/2 an hour each day.

2. Do some research

3. Continue work on Charlie's Road Map / Biography

4. Re-structure the story board

Each step and every new realization I have is a success towards reaching my goal. Only my own self-doubt will keep me from finishing.

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. ~ Sir Winston Churchill

Off and Running...with scissors

Six weeks ago I would have laughed at the thought of me starting a blog. Now, I'm anxious and thrilled at the prospects of this page. I've just finished an intensive creative writing course at the local literary center and find myself more motivated and able to finish my first novel. I've loved writing my entire life, but it wasn't until two years ago (my first writing course) that I began taking my writing seriously. Sure, I was able to spin out a persuasive, factual essay on American government during college without breaking a sweat, but now my writing has transformed from the world of academia to the vivid creations of my imagination.

I started and quit several projects in the last few years because I didn't have the tools to shape my ideas beyond the first few chapters. I was constantly creating dynamic characters and in essence "killing" them off because I couldn't lead them to the end of their story. I was attacking the keyboard of my computer with great anticipation that my ideas and the story would just somehow magically come to me. Now I have seen the errors of my ways, but by no means have I mastered my craft. On the contrary, I have opened my eyes to the reality of my writing and am now more willing to take on every aspect of the grueling work of writing a novel.

I have taken on the "Act as if..." philosophy. If I am serious about writing I need to be serious about all that being a writer includes. I was asked once what would I do differently if I were successful at writing and my answer was I would write more. With that I realized that I didn't have to wait (nor should I wait) for some magical spark of lightning to create my first great piece. If I want to be successful then I have to write more now. Since that great epiphany, I have created a storyboard for my current project, started a thorough layout of the story, began research for the story, completed a creative writing course, and started this blog.

For me, being a successful writer right now means finishing my first novel. I'd love to some day be published, but I have to be realistic. I love to write. I love to create characters and see their lives unfold on a blank piece of paper. I may never be published but at heart I am a writer and I don't expect that will ever change. Success can be measured so many different ways, but for me success is finishing what I've started. I can't say I've been successful at many things in my life, but I know if I put my mind to something I can finish any task big or small. My novel cannot be contained in my head so I must finish it.

I've set out to use the tools I gained to do what I have to do to get the characters out of my head and onto paper without "killing" them before their story ends. Tonight my exercise was to schedule my goals for the week so that I can stay on track.

Outlook for this week:
1. My "stretch" for this week is to write 6 days for at least 1/2 an hour. Life is pretty slow this week so I should be able to do this, but it's a stretch because something seems to always come up.

2. This week I dread running out of steam. This is my first week not having my writing class. I'm afraid that I'll be like the kid returning home after summer camp full of excitement to continue with lessons learned at camp only to have that excitement fizzle after a few days or weeks.

3. This week I will drop watching television in order to get my writing in each day. This shouldn't be too difficult for me, but for some reason I have a hard time turning the TV off and turning the computer on to write. I'll give myself one hour a day to watch TV if there's something that I've been waiting to see. I know I have to take some down time too otherwise I could come to dread writing which would be a negative outcome for my ultimate goal.

4. This week I will add doing more research to my list of things to do on my project. I need to do a lot of research to make sure I use factual events and realistic imagery in my story. Although I'm writing fiction I don't want my 18th century characters to be written as if they were living in the 19th century.

My Goals Between now and one year from now (April 2009) are:
1. To finish at least one draft of Charlie (my current project - Charlie is my protagonist).
2. Do thorough research on the Young Adult (YA) market, agents, publishers, etc.
3. Attend one seminar
4. Take one class at the local literary center

To achieve my goals I must:
1. WRITE!!! WRITE!!! WRITE!!!
2. Use this page as a tool to develop my craft
3. Do at least one writing exercise a week in order to keep learning
4. Study authors / other writers / READ!!!
5. Expand on the skeleton of Charlie, the road map of her story, and the storyboard.

It's going to be a lot of work, but it will be well worth it. So, here I go.